"Until further notice"?
New article by Agnès Bailly, psychoanalyst and psychologist.
During this unprecedented period of lockdown due to the Covid-19 epidemic, children are no longer going to school, "until further notice".
While this suspended time is a challenge for all of us, it is particularly difficult for young children : how can we represent time when it can no longer be counted and stretches out without limit? We no longer even know what day of the week it is, as our lives are no longer regulated as before by the rhythm of home/school/work, our various trips and activities outside.
A little girl I was seeing the day before the announced closure of all schools was very anxious: "But what does 'until further notice' mean?" she kept repeating. This isn't a lack of "understanding" at all, but rather something unbearable. This is what psychoanalysis calls the real: that which is lawless, that which befalls you, that which is meaningless, that which escapes you. It's as if we were suddenly dealing with an Other, capricious, all-powerful, unregulated, who decides everything as he pleases and leaves us in utter disarray in the face of the limitless.
So, how do you explain to your child what's happening when you find yourself in the same situation as them, stunned by what suddenly befell you? And how do you reintroduce a sense of time into all of this? We know that children love all the rituals that structure their lives. But what if one day you miss something you've planned and they're waiting for—because something unexpected got in the way? It will be an opportunity to tell them that we can't do everything and that we don't know everything. It's a great relief for them to know that adults make mistakes too!
Let's wager that, in place of the absolute knowledge that doesn't exist, a small dose of personal invention can find its place in this void. In this area, children show us the way. And what if these moments of surprise, when we discover ourselves to be different and rather inventive, became our compass for coping with this new, indefinite, permanent lockdown?
